Beautiful and Brave, All In One

Now that our New Year is underway, our pick for Layout of the Week each Friday will come from Book Club member posts in the current week’s Logbook Weekly Challenge Gallery. Also, once a month our featured layout will be selected by our lead Calendar Girl for the month, in this case Heather Guenther.

This week’s journaling prompt posed the following question: What would you do if you found out that you only had one year-THIS year-left to live? Our Challenge gallery is already bursting with a variety of amazing pages created in response to this question. But it won’t take you long to discover why Heather chose the page that she did to highlight as Layout of the Week.

Here’s what she said about her choice:

“There were a lot of really good ones, but I read the journaling in ‘Not Today’ by Heather Prins and was mesmerized. Where I was stumped by what I would journal to go with the challenge question, she tackled the challenge head-on and wrote the most beautiful and heartfelt journaling. She paired the journaling with a great collection of photos showing the love between her family members and those who mean the world to her. It was a knock-it-out-of-the-park beautiful layout in capturing her fears as well as capturing her bravery and determination to live each day.”

"Not Today" by Heather Prins

I agree wholeheartedly. Read Ms. Prin’s journaling yourself – you’ll be glad you did…

What would you do if you found out that you only had one year-THIS year-left to live?

Just writing this is difficult for me; it is my biggest fear. What if I die before I finish living? What if my tomorrows are indeed numbered? What if I don’t get to grow old and witness my children live their lives? What if i don’t get to cry at their weddings or hold my grandkids? What if I don’t celebrate their next birthdays? Will they know how I loved them so? That my heart ached everyday until they walked in the door? Will they know that every breath I took from the moment they took their first was always for them? Will know they how proud I was of each of them every single day, just being their mom?

Admittedly ,at first, I would probably go a little insane (okay a lot insane). I would write them letters, buy trinkets, relive old memories, pour over photos, make videos, etc. And then, when the anger and the sadness became unbearable, I would take a deep breath and say

”Not today. Today I am going to live and breathe and laugh and love. Today I am going to hug my babies. I am going to make my mom laugh and kiss my husband. We are going to giggle and be silly and be thankful for this normal day. I am going to count my blessings today and not waste a single second more about ‘what if’, today is mine.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I may be able to always see silver linings (at least I have a whole year and i know it, right?), there would be many hours of darkness, a million tears cried, silently in the wee hours of the morning, alone. There would be a gaping wound in my heart that would never, ever heal. But I also know that in that broken heart there would be love. A love for my family so strong, that its light cannot be shadowed by fear. And it would shine through those broken pieces like a kaleidoscope, guiding us through the sadness, and again I would whisper “Not Today”.

Congratulations on being selected, Heather! As a special reward, you will receive 10 bonus points this week through the Real Deal Book Club Rewards Program.

Want a chance at having one of your creations selected for next Friday’s Layout of the Week? Simply participate in our next Weekly Challenge question & post your layout in the Challenge gallery by noon (MTN) on Thursday. (You’ll need the Memory Logbook or Real Life Scrapbooking Weekly Challenges book to participate, as well as take a few minutes to register for our Book Club).

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